Review: Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (2023)
PG-13 ‧ DC Superhero / Action ‧ 2 Hours 4 Minutes

Written by David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick

Directed by James Wan

THE CAST

Jason Mamoa, Patrick Wilson, Amber Heard, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, Randall Park, Dolph Lundgren, Temuera Morrison, Martin Short, and Nicole Kidman.

THE STORY

(In their own words). After failing to defeat Aquaman the first time, Black Manta wields the power of the mythic Black Trident to unleash an ancient and malevolent force. Hoping to end his reign of terror, Aquaman forges an unlikely alliance with his brother, Orm, the former king of Atlantis. Setting aside their differences, they join forces to protect their kingdom and save the world from irreversible destruction.

THE BEST

The BEST things about the film

Special Effects – There are lots of special effects in this film. Probably not many frames of the film without it. It’s like watching a video game cut scene for 2 hours.
Message – They tried to warn people against the dangers of global warming. This film made me think, “Maybe we should hurry it up so we don’t have to see an Aquaman 3.”

THE WORST

The WORST things about the Film

It’s really hard to narrow down to just a few short answers what I HATED about this film. There are many reasons to dislike this rotting pile of fish carcasses that DC delivered for a film. I’m mostly mad at myself for giving it a chance and seeing it when Warner Bros and DC obviously had no confidence in the movie. They screened it for the press two days before the release date with an embargo on us to not speak about it until the day before the release date. They knew. THEY KNEW! I gave up time with my family around the holidays to see this; I was hoping for something good. So, I’m saying I’m not as mad at DC as I am at myself. I’m disappointed in DC because they have so much potential with decades of material to work with. However, they came up with two hours of an excruciatingly boring superhero film where the best part of it was the bad acting.

So, let’s make it easy and do something fun for this review. Here are ten things I hated about Aquaman.

The Acting – This is Jason Mamoa’s worst performance. Ever. Every time he screams, “My son!” or whatever other boring line they gave him, It looks like he is doing a cold-line reading for an audition. “Hey, I almost believed you were Aquaman for a second. Next!”
The writing – Bad acting starts with the bad writing. The credits list one person as the writer, but the “Story by” is five different people. That’s just too many voices in the room. This creates a film with no singular voice, style, or heart. This is “writing by committee,” which may work for the technical writing of a 1995 Microsoft Access user manual but not for a film.
The Villain – Why? Why must we return to the same bad guy as the last film? Cause he wants vengeance? And that’s it? His singular goal is to kill Aquaman. No other goals or things he wants? Just going for the one thing, huh? So…..yeah. I get it. Aquaman is to blame for the death of his father. This single-dimension villain character may work in a comic book, but it gets boring quickly on screen. Do you want me to care about this film? I gotta hate the villain if I’m gonna root for the hero. The characters need depth. I find it terribly ironic that a film that takes place in the ocean has the shallowest characters of any DC film.
The Story – Long and convoluted. Okay…..films should be epic. But does the plot need to be that complicated? Some pretty amazing epic films have a simple plot: Titanic, Guardians of The Galaxy, Captain America, and Superman (pre-Snyder). How many times do we really need to raise armies to fight? Every film? Come on.
Too Much Reliance On the First Film – I only realized how unmemorable the first Aquaman was once they clearly expected me to remember a lot of the last film. And my slight memory of relationships from the first film doesn’t create emotional connections between characters. So, I ended up not caring about most of the characters and needed to be emotionally invested for the film to work. Sequels need to be able to stand alone. I can drop into any Iron Man film and get the relationship between Stark and Pepper Potts. Each movie is self-contained, and seeing the previous ones only adds to the enjoyment; it isn’t completely dependent upon the other film.
Same Tricks Over and Over – I wish I had a quarter for every time a character was just about to get killed by a Trident or something……when all of a sudden….Someone appears to stop them. It’s bad enough that this trick is used in most movies once… don’t do the same trick 5 times in the same film!
The “message’ On Repeat – The film certainly tries to have a message behind it. Warnings against global warming and climate change and unintended consequences of all of it. I don’t mind that message, but it’s the fact that they repeat that message every 10 minutes throughout the film. OKAY, I GET IT! I AM ON YOUR SIDE!

Okay, I’m only doing seven things I hate about the film. “But Silas, you said you would do 10 things.” Yes, that feeling you have of being let down having been promised something that didn’t deliver… that’s how I felt when I left the theater.

THE LESSON

Global warming has unintended consequences. That’s the message. You’ll know because they say it like 50 times.

IS IT REWATCHABLE

No. But if you manage to watch it, be prepared to forget everything that happened in it within a week.

THE FINAL WORD

I like video games, so I enjoyed the special effects that made the movie feel like a video cut scene most of the time. However, I was there to watch a movie. I left the theater deeply disappointed in not just the film but also the life choices that led me to be there. What’s wrong with the film? Where to start? Jason Mamoa’s performance is awful. The film’s writing is uninspired, and it lacks a singular voice. The villain’s character is seen as one-dimensional, and the plot is convoluted and overly reliant on the first film. Frequent use of clichéd scenes and the repetitive messaging on global warming make me want to beat my head in with a trident. The film’s inability to stand alone as a sequel and its lack of re-watch ability make the best thing about the film is how forgettable it will be. Maybe I won’t remember that time I left my family during the holidays to bore myself in a theater for two hours.

THE VERDICT
My 3L system gives me the choice to Love It, Like It, or Lose It.

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom gets “an Avatar “

(that’s whatever is below Lose It)

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THE MEME REVIEW

Review: The Color Purple

The Color Purple (2023)
PG-13 ‧ Musical Drama ‧ 2 Hours 20 Minutes
Written by Marcus Gardley
Directed by Blitz Bazawule

THE CAST

Taraji P. Henson, Danielle Brooks, Colman Domingo, Corey Hawkins, H.E.R., Halle Bailey, Phylicia Pearl Mpasi, and Fantasia Barrino in her film debut as Celie.

THE STORY

(In their own words). Torn apart from her sister and her children, Celie faces many hardships in life, including an abusive husband. With support from a sultry singer named Shug Avery, as well as her stand-her-ground stepdaughter, Celie ultimately finds extraordinary strength in the unbreakable bonds of a new kind of sisterhood.

THE BEST

The BEST things about the film

Performances: The cast, led by Fantasia Barrino as Celie, is ripe with outstanding performances. Each actor, including Taraji P. Henson, who plays Shug Avery, Danielle Brooks as Sofia, and Colman Domingo as “Mister,” brings depth and authenticity to their roles. Their acting abilities convey their characters’ complex emotions and experiences, significantly enhancing the film’s impact. As “Mister,” Domingo is so good at being a bad guy that you truly hate him as Celie’s lifelong antagonist/captor/abuser.
Music: Despite some songs feeling like additions rather than integral parts of the plot, the overall musical score is highlighted as a strong point. The soulful tunes effectively complement the narrative’s emotional landscape. Giving scenes a bit longer and sometimes more vital, lasting impressions than they otherwise would have.
Character Development and Storytelling: The film is commended for its exploration of deeper themes and for providing a fresh take on the story. It delves into some of the characters’ lives with more detail than the original film and explores the themes of strength, sisterhood, and resilience amidst adversity.

THE WORST

The WORST things about the Film

Music as an Accessory Rather Than Integral: At times, the songs in the film felt more like extensions of scenes rather than essential parts of the narrative. This approach makes the music seem less integrated into the story, potentially disrupting the flow and reducing the impact that a more seamlessly integrated musical element could have had.
Comparisons with the Original Film: There’s a sense that while this adaptation adds new layers to the story, it inevitably invites comparisons with Spielberg’s classic 1980s film. For fans of the original, this might lead to mixed feelings, as some might prefer how certain scenes or characters were portrayed in the earlier version.
Emotional Intensity and Heavy Themes: The film’s focus on challenging themes like domestic abuse and racial oppression, while powerful and important, might make it a difficult watch for some viewers. While a strength in storytelling, the emotional intensity could also be overwhelming, especially for those seeking lighter, more escapist cinema.

THE COMMENTS

“The Color Purple,” a 2023 adaptation of the Broadway musical, revisits the poignant story initially brought to life in Alice Walker’s novel and later in Steven Spielberg’s 1980s film starring Whoopi Goldberg. This latest version, directed by Blitz Bazawule, offers a fresh, musically infused perspective on the tale, enhancing certain aspects of the story that were less explored in Spielberg’s adaptation.

The narrative centers around Celie’s journey through a life marred by abuse and injustice, set against the backdrop of the early 1900s South, a time and place fraught with racial and gender-based oppression. Despite these challenges, Celie finds solace and strength in her relationships, particularly with Shug Avery (her husband’s sometimes lover) and her stepdaughter Sofia.

These relationships underline the film’s central themes of resilience, sisterhood, and the enduring power of hope.

Colman Domingo’s portrayal of Mr. is particularly striking. He masterfully navigates the complexity of his character, transforming from a seemingly kind individual into a formidable antagonist.

Musically, the film excels, integrating soulful tunes that resonate with the story’s emotional highs and lows. However, the songs sometimes appear more as embellishments than essential narrative elements. While not diminishing the film’s overall impact, this approach suggests a slight imbalance between the musical and dramatic components. Songs should happen when words alone aren’t enough. This musical forgets that tenant.

The performances across the board are noteworthy, with each actor bringing authenticity and emotional depth to their roles. The film navigates its heavy themes with a careful balance of intensity and sensitivity, making the viewer’s journey through the story both heart-wrenching and inspiring.

THE LESSON

Strength in Adversity: The film powerfully illustrates how individuals can find strength even in the most challenging circumstances. Celie’s journey is one marked by abuse and hardship, but she survives. She survives a lot that other people couldn’t have.
The Importance of Sisterhood and Supportive Relationships: The narrative emphasizes the significance of sisterhood and supportive relationships in overcoming life’s challenges. The bonds Celie forms with characters like Shug Avery and her stepdaughter Sofia play a crucial role in her journey toward empowerment.
Hope as a Source of Resilience: One of the film’s key messages is the enduring power of hope. Despite facing numerous obstacles, the characters’ hope for a better future gives them the strength to endure and strive for change.

IS IT REWATCHABLE?

Yes, and the music makes it more rewatchable than the original, one of my all-time favorite films.

THE FINAL WORD

I appreciate the film’s compelling performances, especially featuring Fantasia Barrino and Colman Domingo’s outstanding roles. The musical score is soulful and impactful, although there are moments where it feels more like an addition than a core part of the narrative. For me, the film stands out for going deeper into the characters and themes, more so than previous versions, effectively touching on resilience, sisterhood, and hope amidst tough challenges. While it naturally draws comparisons to Spielberg’s iconic version, and its heavy themes may not appeal to everyone, its emotional richness, top-notch acting, and a fresh take on this beloved story make it a must-watch.

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Review: The Iron Claw

The Iron Claw (2023)
R ‧ Drama/Wrestling Biopic ‧ 132 Minutes

Written by Sean Durkin

Directed by Sean Durkin

THE CAST

Zac Efron, Jeremy Allen White, Harris Dickinson, Stanley Simons, Maura Tierney, with Holt McCallany and Lily James

THE STORY

(In their own words). The true story of the inseparable Von Erich brothers, who made history in the intensely competitive world of professional wrestling in the early 1980s. Through tragedy and triumph, under the shadow of their domineering father and coach, the brothers seek larger-than-life immortality on the biggest stage in sports.

High-Flying Hits of the Film

The BEST things about the film

The Wrestling – They did an excellent job with the cinematography, interestingly capturing the wrestling matches.
The Brotherly Love – The relationship between the brothers was wonderfully portrayed in both the soulful writing and acting performances. You really felt how much the Von Erichh brothers loved each other and wanted to be together.
The Story – A profoundly engaging and compelling story. I was riveted to see how it all ended, which I had a minor inkling of from my life knowledge.

Match Misteps

The WORST things about the Film

Ric Flair – There’s really one moment that stands out as wrong. Aaron Dean Eisenberg plays a small role in the film as the NWA Wrestling champion, Ric Flair. Ric Flair is an iconic wrestler; any wrestling fan knows how he talks and behaves. During the movie, Flair delivers a “promo video”. A promo is a monologue that wrestlers perform to the camera, calling out other wrestlers or elevating themselves. This promo has to be the WORST Ric Flair impression I’ve ever seen. Understand, this isn’t a role that you should try to reinterpret what the character was like. It would be like someone playing Ray Charles or Elvis, but they just deliver terrible impressions of him. It was so bad for me, an old fan of Ric Flair, that it completely jolted me out of the movie. I couldn’t understand why this actor was cast in the role when there had to be dozens or hundreds of people who could do this role justice. It is a brief role, but it’s an essential character to get correct.

THE COMMENTS

The film title, Iron Claw, refers to the name of the wrestling finishing move used by the patriarch of the family, Fritz Von Erich. In wrestling, an Iron Claw is a painful grip on the head of the opponent that was so powerful the opponent would often give up the match; in this movie, it’s the grip Fritz had on his family.

I grew up watching wrestling. My grandpa was a big fan and introduced me to all the different shows he would watch. One of the lower-budget-looking ones he would frequent was this little show out of Texas called World Class Championship Wrestling. The most prominent regulars on the show were the Von Erich brothers. As an only child (at the time), I was fascinated by the idea of a whole family of brothers wrestling together. Then I started hearing about all the different things that had happened in their life and reading about the curse of the Von Erich family and how tragedy after tragedy seemed to strike the children. So, I was ready to go in, hear more details about what happened, and get the complete picture of their shared life. I wasn’t quite prepared to see how much the story would come across so sad. You could easily retitle the film “Iron Claw: The Tragedy of the Von Erich Family.”

I really liked parts of the film, like the ensemble acting between the brothers as they looked out for each other. I liked how you never got a straight answer about how “real” wrestling is. Sometimes, the film would keep kayfabe, a term that essentially means you act like the characters, and wrestling wins and losses are all real and not pre-planned. This was a good choice because the moment you acknowledge the pretend world they live in, it makes the stakes feel much lower.

The film exposes the problems when you have a father pushing a family in one direction and becoming so overbearing that you won’t let your children find their own way. The actor playing the dad, Holt McCallany, does a fabulous job as the heel father, driving his kids and his wrestling company forward in a vision he wants while pretending it’s for the benefit of his children.

It’s important to know that this isn’t as much a wrestling movie as Fighting With My Family or Ready To Rumble; it is a drama in a wrestling world landscape.

THE LESSON

Find your own path; don’t take what other people want for you.

Success won’t erase the pain of the past.

IS IT REWATCHABLE

Yes

THE FINAL BELL

“The Iron Claw” is a dramatic and engaging biopic that tells the powerful story of the Von Erich brothers in 1980s professional wrestling. Featuring a strong cast and beautiful writing, the film brilliantly captures the essence of brotherhood and the pursuit of fame, tempered by personal and family struggles. While most of the movie deserves high praise for its compelling storytelling and authentic portrayal of wrestling, the horrible impression of wrestling legend Ric Flair is a notable misstep. Overall, “Iron Claw” is a poignant and captivating exploration of ambition, familial bonds, and the enduring impact of the past.

THE VERDICT
My 3L system gives me the choice to Love It, Like It, or Lose It.

The Iron Claw gets a Like It.

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Review: Blue Beetle

Blue Beetle (2023)
PG-13 ‧ Action/Adventure Scifi ‧ 2 Hours 7 Minutes

Written by Gareth Dunnet-Alcocer

Directed by Angel Manuel Soto

THE CAST

Xolo Maridueña, Bruna Marquezine, Adriana Barraza, Damián Alcázar, Raoul Max Trujillo, Susan Sarandon, and George Lopez.

THE STORY

(In their own words) Jaime Reyes suddenly finds himself in possession of an ancient relic of alien biotechnology called the Scarab. When the Scarab chooses Jaime to be its symbiotic host, he’s bestowed with an incredible suit of armor that’s capable of extraordinary and unpredictable powers, forever changing his destiny as he becomes the superhero Blue Beetle.

THE BEST

The BEST things about the film

Comedy – The film is very funny. There are some excellent comedic moments, especially in the scenes involving George Lopez’s character, Rudy Reyes, Jaime Reyes’ (Blue Beetle’s) uncle. While I enjoyed his character, I wish they didn’t make him such an obvious comedic conspiracy theorist trope right in the beginning. The style of comedy he uses also makes him taken less seriously. There are many ways to make this kind of character funny without a verbal slapstick style of humor.
Diverse Representation – I appreciated finally seeing Latinx representation in a superhero film. I like seeing how different families interact and how different types of families are at home. This is very good for creating variety in these movies.
Themes of Family – The themes of family are heavy in this film, and it helps ground the characters to be more relatable.
Xolo Mariduena as Blue Beetle – Xolo did exceptionally well carrying the movie. He’s charismatic and believable, making me believe he wants what is best for his family. He should be proud to have led this movie, despite everything I’m about to say about the film itself.

THE WORST

The WORST things about the film

Susan Sarandon – I am a huge Susan Sarandon fan. Adding her into a big-budget superhero movie as the central villain would give it a huge level of acting gravitas. However, this must be the worst performance she’s ever had. Her acting was stilted; her delivery sounded like she had just barely memorized the lines before stumbling on set. She deserves a hefty paycheck after spending so much time in more independent, artful movies, but…it would have been nice to have her elevate a film rather than keep pulling it down.
Stupid Moments – I just don’t know how to express how disappointing it was that there were two to three idiotic moments for every nice moment in the film. I’m fine with plot holes in action films, you need suspension of disbelief, but these were just stupid, obvious ones that I didn’t get covered up or glossed over quick enough that I’m taken out of the movie. Let me give an example that sums up the film. At one point, we have a character that needs to sneak into a secured lab room, so when a worker comes out, she steals his badge and uses it to get into the room. Then she leaves with the badge. Minutes later, he comes back into the room. The secured room that he needed his badge to get into. HOW DID HE GET BACK IN WITHOUT THE BADGE?! That moment happens a lot in the film.
Bad Writing – Bad writing results in me not caring much about what is happening in the film. I don’t think you need to follow a formula to make a good superhero film. I want and appreciate different ways of doing things; I like experimentation and seeing stories from other points of view. However, a superhero story needs a few basic things: a great villain, a motivated hero, and a clear mission. We need to understand the villain, we need to know why they are doing the things they do, and we need to care. We don’t have to like them, but we need to care. Blue Beetle writers decide to make the villain more of a CEO head with giant plans of greed that could endanger the world with more deadly weapons. While not much different than Lex Luthor, with Lex, at least I know his “why,” there are personal stakes with him. Villain Victoria Kord (played by all-star actress Susan Sarandon) offers no explanation behind the villainy in this film. She’s a villain for the sake of being a villain. With Jaime Ryes (The identity of Blue Beetle), we take too much time early on talking about how he loves his family without learning his “why.” Why does he love his family? What do they do for him? The focus is so much on the results without seeing what brought him to that result.

THE COMMENTS

Representation is really important, but so is good writing. I hate when a film comes out that is supposed to decide whether Hollywood will make more movies featuring particular identities of actors. Blue Beetle seems to be determining whether or not more Superheros of Latinx descent will be made, much like Black Panther was pivotal in showing that you can have a predominantly Black Hollywood blockbuster. The difference here is Black Panther was solidly written. I want to pull my hair out when people expect a lackluster script to do well and hinge on the future of Lantix/Hispanic lead films on such mediocrity. Produce a solid movie! Don’t expect communities to show up just because you put their faces on a film. That is unfair.

THE LESSON

Grieve when you finish your business.

IS IT REWATCHABLE

Yeah. Look, it’s not like this is Morbius-level bad. There are moments in the film I enjoyed. There are some excellent special effects, and it is a film that is trying to be something more significant than it is.

THE FINAL WORD

Representation matters, but so does a good story. I only knew a little about The Blue Beetle character before I went to the movie, and I still don’t know much after I left it. And that really bugged me. The film attempts to show how his family is at the core of The Blue Beetle’s strength, but we don’t see him building those muscles. We get the results without the work, leaving me feeling unsatisfied.

THE VERDICT

My 3L system gives me the choice to Love It, Like It, or Lose It.

The Blue Beetle gets an unfortunate Lose It.

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Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023)
PG ‧ Animated Action/Comedy ‧ 1 Hour 40 Minutes

Written by Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg & Jeff Rowe and Dan Hernandez & Benji Samit

Story by Brendan O’Brien and Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg & Jeff Rowe

Directed by Jeff Rowe Co-Directed by Kyler Spears

THE CAST

Micah Abbey, Shamon Brown Jr., Hannibal Buress, Rose Byrne, Nicolas Cantu, John Cena, Jackie Chan, Ice Cube, Natasia Demetriou, Ayo Edebiri, Giancarlo Esposito, Post Malone, Brady Noon, Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, Maya Rudolph.

THE STORY

(In their own words). After years of being sheltered from the human world, the Turtle brothers set out to win the hearts of New Yorkers and be accepted as normal teenagers through heroic acts. Their new friend April O’Neil helps them take on a mysterious crime syndicate, but they soon get in over their heads when an army of mutants is unleashed upon them.

THE BEST

The BEST things about the film

The humor/comedy – It’s a hilarious film. I caught a couple of callbacks to previous films, I’m not an expert in TMNT, and I’m sure there were a lot more, but I’m sure there is a lot more that I didn’t catch.
The writing – Quick, witty…dialogue flows seamlessly.
The updates – One thing that always scares me about bringing back long-time characters into the modern world is how they decide to update it. They flawlessly updated it to modern times. They reference pop culture as if they are just normal teen high school kids. April, the Turtles’ sole female ally, is modernized to be a young black/biracial budding journalist from previous iterations.
The Story – This was a tremendous first TMNT film for someone like me because it is an origin story that thankfully only wades a little bit into how they got to where they are, just enough to get the idea and feel like I completely understood the backstory. Most of the story involves the deciding to “go public” and let people know they exist. They set up the protagonists well with clear motivations for revenge over humanity, which is understandable and diabolical.
The Acting – The voice acting is top-notch.

THE WORST

The only thing I didn’t like about the film I would ruin a significant plot point by telling you. So, if you want, message me, and I will tell you after you’ve seen it.

THE COMMENTS

I confess I am not a huge animation fanboy. I usually have trouble connecting emotionally with animated films (aside from UP, I’m not a monster). But I found myself really getting into this film, which especially surprised me because it is full of gnarly-looking mutant creatures that are the foils of the Ninja Turtles. They don’t look believable as living creatures, and that kind of thing really takes me out of this type of film.

THE LESSON

Sometimes you gotta trust a stranger.

IS IT REWATCHABLE

Yes, I see kids especially replaying this a lot.

THE FINAL WORD

The popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are back in animated form in a film that offers a fresh, fun adventure that is sure to be the start of a new series of adventures. This action comedy film centers around a brief origin story of the quartet and a journey of discovering who they want to be after being raised by a fearful, human-hating father figure. Excellent voice-over acting draws the audience into the film, almost making you forget you are watching animated turtles with all these emotions. A good family film with lots of action and minimal scares serves up a solid introduction to the Ninja Turtle universe.

THE VERDICT

My 3L system gives me the choice to Love It, Like It, or Lose It.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem gets a Like It.

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Review: Haunted Mansion

Haunted Mansion (2023)
PG-13 ‧ Comedy/Fantasy ‧ 2 Hours 2 Minutes

Written by Katie Dippold

Directed by Justin Simien

THE CAST

LaKeith Stanfield, Rosario Dawson, Owen Wilson, Danny Devito, Tiffany Haddish, Chase Dillon and Jamie Lee Curtis

THE STORY

(In their own words). A woman and her son enlist a motley crew of so-called spiritual experts to help rid their home of supernatural squatters.

A scene from Disney’s live-action HAUNTED MANSION. Photo courtesy of Disney. © 2023 Disney Enterprises, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

THE BEST

The BEST things about the film

Lovely easter eggs for fans of the theme park attraction, like the use of chairs to make the characters leave. The same type of “chairs” are used in the ride. Many little easter eggs all about the ride are sprinkled throughout the film. It’s definitely seeing the ride come to life in a new way.
The last third of the movie is excellent.
The characters in the film are interesting. They came up with good ideas for characters but needed to learn how to use them.
There is some decent comedy in the film. Owen Wilson has some good moments in the movie.

Jamie Lee Curtis as Madame Leota in Disney’s HAUNTED MANSION. Photo courtesy of Disney. © 2023 Disney Enterprises, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

THE WORST

The WORST things about the Film

It felt like a made-for-TV movie about the first half to two-thirds of the movie. Just bad writing, bad acting, just…..not very good. Luckily, the film’s final third picked up in quality and dimension. I’ve said I liked the last third, but I don’t think the rest of the movie earned it.
I don’t think they made a clear decision on the level of ‘scary” this film should have. I don’t know what age this film would be good for. It’s too scary for little kids and too dull for older kids. So maybe right at that 12-14 age is suitable for it.
The writing – Flimsy plot, lack of moments or motivations for the characters in dealing with each other. The characters are so focused on dealing with the situation that they are in, that they don’t take time to relate with each other, which is what would draw us in to like them. And for a ghost story, I wanted to get drawn in more to the characters. Also, the main character, Ben Matthias, they don’t really write him to make sense. We need to learn more about him to understand why he is actually still doing the profession he is in. There’s a pivotal point where they make him do something criminal, which doesn’t make sense for what we know about him. Just poor writing in a lot of areas.

THE COMMENTS

You know where I could see this movie playing, Friday Night PTA, at the Elementary School. It’s pretty safe for that kind of event, though a little scary for the younger kids that would be there. Recommend it for the fifth graders.

(L-R): Chase Dillon as Travis, Rosario Dawson as Gabbie, LaKeith Stanfield as Ben, Owen Wilson as Father Kent, and Tiffany Haddish as Harriet in Disney’s HAUNTED MANSION. Photo by Jalen Marlowe. © 2023 Disney Enterprises, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

THE LESSON

Deep sadness stays with you, but you must learn to let go.

IS IT REWATCHABLE

Meh. Maybe. With kids. It’s not the worst thing in the world, but I wouldn’t stop on the channel to watch.

THE FINAL WORD

I don’t know if I should even be disappointed by Haunted Mansion, a theme park ride being the motivation to write a film isn’t the best way to create art. Disney just did a Haunted Mansion movie 20 years ago, and it was a financial success. Strange that this film has zero connection to the first one, or why they thought this flimsy script was good enough to try again so soon. The film suffers from poor writing and poor execution in the first half of the film. The last 30 minutes of the film are actually really well done, but they didn’t earn it. It at least makes you leave the theater thinking you had a great time, then you try and remember how they got there and wonder how you lasted that long. And it’s a shame because they had so much potential for this story, and it’s like they knew they did because the ending was so fun, but they squandered the first half when they could have made an excellent spooky adventure for the whole family. Instead, we end up with something like a made-for-TV movie where commercial breaks help you traverse the film. I will say the easter eggs for fans of the Disney Haunted Mansion ride will be delighted with many of the ride elements and characters that are incorporated into the film. Many of those made me laugh.

Lindsay Lamb as The Bride in Disney’s HAUNTED MANSION. Photo courtesy of Disney. © 2023 Disney Enterprises, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

THE VERDICT

My 3L system gives me the choice to Love It, Like It, or Lose It.

Haunted Mansion gets a Lose It.

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Review: Oppenheimer

Oppenheimer (2023)
R ‧ Biographical Drama ‧ 3 Hours 0 Minutes

Written by Christopher Nolan

Directed by Christopher Nolan

THE CAST

Cillian Murphy, Emily Blunt, Matt Damon, Robert Downey Jr., Florence Pugh, Josh Hartnett, Casey Affleck, Rami Malek, and Kenneth Branagh.

THE STORY

(In their own words). The story of American scientist J. Robert Oppenheimer and his role in the development of the atomic bomb.

THE BEST

The BEST things about the film

The Score – I truly believe this film lives and dies by the score. Nolan uses the film’s musical score with extreme precision, constantly ramping up the tension in the scenes to their extreme and making the silence in some scenes exceptionally dramatic. He uses the music extremely well. I will go even further; many of these scenes would be boring without the score. This was sorcerer-level magic, tricking the audience into believing they were actually watching an interesting dialogue scene when it was just a lot of high-level science talks along with the mediocre dialogue that doesn’t move the story along very well.
The Pacing – The film has a rapid-fire pace, which is necessary to get through this three-hour-long film. It needs to be fast because otherwise there aren’t enough interesting things happening to stay with the film.
The Acting – This is a truly exceptional cast of actors doing some of the best work of their careers.
Directing – Christopher Nolan is obviously a master filmmaker. This film is extremely well made and will probably win many awards for people involved.

THE WORST

The WORST things about the film

It’s almost there – This film always felt like it was “almost there.” Whether that was in “making a point,” “making sense,” “making it exciting,” or “making me care.” Three hours filled with the Oppenheimer character, and I didn’t care much about him. Basically, because I never really understood his motivations or his cares. I didn’t know why he was motivated to do things he did, to risk the things he risked, to lie about the things he lied about, or to love the way he loved. They would circle the rim discussing his motivations but wouldn’t dive into it.
It’s long. It’s really much longer than it needs to be.
Too many stories. It lacks focus; it goes all over the place in the name of art, not in the name of better storytelling.

THE COMMENTS

I have no doubt that most critics will love the film. Its good technical filmmaking. I feel like I’ve seen all these tricks from Nolan before, and it has gotten a little old. Hard, fast music, some good actors, lots of non-linear edits, special effects, slow down of camera speed … .just lots of tricks. Tricks that hide a fundamentally mediocre story. Sure, there are lots of interesting things about Oppenheimer, but I never discovered the core of him in this film. I don’t know why he ticks; I don’t understand his motivations. He’s not particularly likable, not that he has to be, but I at least want to know why he is doing things that I have problems with.

As an actor, of course, I’d love to be in one of Nolan’s films, but I think that comes from a self-indulgent space in my heart. He has some meaty roles; he makes people look good on camera.

THE LESSON

Extraordinary minds don’t mean they are extraordinary people.

IS IT REWATCHABLE

Yes, maybe. I think more in an academic/study of film kind of way than in a “what a great, fun film to watch” kind of way.

THE FINAL WORD

Loud and long. Sometimes those are good things, and sometimes it’s a Christopher Nolan film that is trying very hard to prove itself to be a good, meaningful film. Nolan is an exceptional filmmaker, and I probably would have liked this film a lot more if it was the first film of his that I’ve seen. But it’s kind of…same tricks, different movie. It’s not a bad film. With fast pacing and a score that pushes you along like an ocean wave, it flies by for a three-hour movie. The acting is fantastic, an outstanding ensemble. Story….I don’t think there’s a lot there. There’s a lot of cinematic trickery to get you to believe you just watched more than you did. I didn’t feel like I got to really understand Oppenheimer, which I think is the point of a biopic. All that being said, I can’t deny it is a well-made film and that many people will enjoy it. But I’m sure they’ll also enjoy anything else that he makes. They like the style, not the substance.

THE VERDICT

My 3L system gives me the choice to Love It, Like It, or Lose It.

Oppenheimer gets a Like It.

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THE MEME REVIEW

Review: Elemental

Elemental (2023)
PG ‧ Animation/Comedy ‧ 1 Hour 42 Minutes

Written by Peter Sohn; John Hoberg; Kat Likkel; Brenda Hsueh

Directed by Petry Sohn

THE CAST

Leah Lewis as Ember Lumen, a tough, quick-witted fire element who loves working at her family’s convenience store in Fire Town.
- Clara Lin Ding voices little kid Ember, while Reagan To voices big kid Ember.^[
Mamoudou Athie as Wade Ripple, a fun, sappy water element who is making his own choices and works as an inspector living in Element City.
Ronnie del Carmen as Bernie Lumen, Ember’s father, Cinder’s husband, and owner of their family’s convenience store in Fire Town.
Shila Ommi as Cinder Lumen, Ember’s mother and Bernie’s wife who is prejudiced against non-fire elements, like her husband.
Mason Wertheimer as Clod, a young, street-smart earth element and the Lumens’ neighbor who has a crush on Ember.
Wendi McLendon-Covey as Gale Cumulus, an air element with a big personality and Wade’s employer.
Catherine O’Hara as Brook Ripple, Wade and Alan’s mother and Harold’s sister who is very welcoming to Ember in a luxury apartment building.

THE STORY

(In their own words).n a city where fire, water, land, and air residents live together, a fiery young woman and a go-with-the-flow guy discover something elemental: how much they actually have in common.

LOVE IT

The BEST things about the film:

First Rom-Com – I’m pretty sure this would be considered Pixar’s first rom-com film. Sure, there have been love interests in other films, but I think this is the first time such a vast section of the film occupies that idea.

LIKE IT

What worked about the film:

Story – The tale is basically an analogy for the Asian immigrant experience in America. The “fire” element in the city feels othered and faces hostility around the city, where even parts of the city aren’t built with characteristics hospitable to life.

The animation – Lovely animation. I liked how they brought everything together into this world while still keeping a harmonious production design.

LOSE IT

The WORST things about the film:

Lack of good antagonist – The central conflict seems to be with Ember’s father, but even then, there isn’t lost love between them; they clearly have familial love for each other. It’s more about hiding from a father’s potential disappointment. He’s not really a bad guy, though. I think the film would have been much stronger if they had a bit stronger of an antagonist to fight against.

Lack of oomph – As fun as it was, I don’t know if this is going to be a memorable tale. Maybe it will grow more on me. I just didn’t walk away super excited by the movie.

THE COMMENTS

The idea for the film is more significant than the actual film. I could see a whole animated series taking place in Element City. The film doesn’t really take an opportunity to explore very much with the city and instead focuses on the relationship between Ember and Wade. Which is fine. Maybe if they spent more time world-building, I’d be mad they didn’t focus on the relationship. I’m a critic; perhaps I can’t be happy. It feels like a little bit of a waste of this setting. The potential for world-building in this universe is enormous.

THE LESSON

No matter how opposite two people are, they still could be a good match.

Don’t force your dreams onto other people.

IS IT REWATCHABLE?

Yes.

THE FINAL WORD

Elemental is a pleasant enough film. The film is an analogy for the immigrant experience in America wrapped together with a traditional rom-com. Overall it is a funny and enjoyable Pixar film, just not one that will leave a lasting impression. I’m willing to concede that this might be a movie that will grow on me over time. I’ll show it to my kids so I can buy the merch. Its lack of a significant protagonist is probably good for younger kids where bad guys scare them, but I want my plots like I want my carbs…complex.

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THE MEME REVIEW

Rated: PG

Review: The Flash

The Flash (2023)
PG-13 ‧ Action/Adventure/Comedy ‧ 2 Hours 35 Minutes

Written by Christina Hodson

Directed by Andrés Muschietti

THE CAST

Ezra Miller as Barry Allen / The Flash
Sasha Calle as Kara Zor-El / Supergirl
Michael Shannon as General Zod
Ron Livingston as Henry Allen
Maribel Verdú as Nora Allen: Barry’s mother who was murdered in his youth.
Kiersey Clemons as Iris West
Antje Traue as Faora-Ul
Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne / Batman

THE STORY

(In their own words).Worlds collide when the Flash uses his superpowers to travel back in time to change the events of the past. However, when his attempt to save his family inadvertently alters the future, he becomes trapped in a reality in which General Zod has returned, threatening annihilation. With no other superheroes to turn to, the Flash looks to coax a very different Batman out of retirement and rescue an imprisoned Kryptonian — albeit not the one he’s looking for.

THE BEST

The BEST things about the film

The Story – I really enjoyed this story because it managed to tell an origin story without lingering on that too much. The best origin stories focus on WHY they do what they do instead of drowning us on HOW they got these magic powers. It touches on Flash’s motivation for justice and covers how he got them, but still focuses on this story which takes place much later. I also am a big fan of how they dealt with the multiverse in this story and how it affects things.

Ezra Miller’s Performance – Look, I didn’t want to like them in this. I get the problems with keeping Ezra in this role, and they should probably be recast. That said, they are outstanding in the part, playing dual Barry Allens. They portray such clearly different versions of the same person so incredibly well with minor changes to the delivery and presentation that you really get the sense that this is the same person…but not.

The Multiverse Presentation – In films like this, I always wonder how they will get across the point of what Barry Allen sees in the multiverse and how he travels back in time. I believe they found a fantastic way of showing how he moves through time and learns about his options. It was fun and exciting and made things very clear to me.

The Cameos & Callbacks – This has some fantastic expected and unexpected cameos. It’s a real treat for DC fans. Now, I have read complaints that this movie was just fan service for the cameos and callbacks to other films, and I feel like that is completely missing the point and dismissing some excellent storytelling. The cameos and callbacks are the icing on the cake. They work because the film does. And honestly, after all the subpar DC films we’ve had in the past, the fans deserve a little bit of fan service.

The Humor – I really loved that the film’s humor was its own. Many of the Marvel movies have gotten a bit formulaic with the way they use humor, to the point that you can see it coming. It’s a Marvel brand of humor. The humor in this film is its own, and it feels unique; it feels internalized for the mechanics of that world. It doesn’t feel like the Shazam style of humor, and that makes it feel special.

THE WORST

The WORST things about the Film

The Time Stuff – Yes, I get it; the Flash sometimes does things that don’t make sense; he’ll be in the midst of talking to someone, then super-speeds to Paris, come back with a croissant before the person is done turning around. That doesn’t happen in this story exactly, but it’s the kind of thing he does in this story and in the television show and the comics. It doesn’t make sense because he probably had to at least go into regular time to buy the croissant unless he stole it. I get that. It’s kind of annoying. But that’s just what this character does. You have to let it go if you are going to enjoy ANYTHING about The Flash. And I do agree, and I wish they would stop doing this kind of thing.

THE COMMENTS

I really feel like this is the best DC film we’ve seen yet. There is so much I like about the film. The story, the humor, the direction, the acting, and the tone… hit it perfectly for me. Admittedly Flash is one of my longest-running loves of superheroes. So I admit I might be biased, but the audience I was with clearly agreed with me.

THE LESSON

The only way to move forward is to let go of the past.

IS IT REWATCHABLE
YES.
THE FINAL WORD

The Flash may be the best DC Film to come out. It’s creative, funny, and lays out a complex story in a simple way. It tells an origin story without dragging itself into feeling like it has to explain everything by focusing on the WHY Barry Allen takes on his role as the Flash rather than the how. The film’s story primarily works because of an impeccable performance by the problematic Ezra Miller. While I really appreciate the nuanced and stellar performance in the movie, I would be glad to see it recast so we can explore more of the Flash universe. The film is topped off by some stellar cameos that, yes, are full of DC fan service. However, DC fans deserve this after so many years of disappointment.

THE VERDICT
My 3L system gives me the choice to Love It, Like It, or Lose It.

The Flash gets a Love It.

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Review: The Blackening

The Blackening (2023)
R ‧ Horror/Comedy ‧ 1 Hours 36 Minutes
Written by Tracy Oliver and Dewayne Perkins, based on the 2018 short film of the same name by the comedy troupe 3Peat.
Directed by Tim Story

THE CAST

Grace Byers as Allison
Jermaine Fowler as Clifton
Melvin Gregg as King
X Mayo as Shanika
Dewayne Perkins as Dewayne
Antoinette Robertson as Lisa
Sinqua Walls as Nnamdi
Jay Pharoah as Shawn
Yvonne Orji as Morgan
Diedrich Bader as Officer White
James Preston Rogers as Camden Conner

THE STORY

(In their own words).

Seven friends go away for the weekend, only to find themselves trapped in a cabin with a killer who has a vendetta. They must pit their street smarts and knowledge of horror movies against the murderer to stay alive.

THE LOVES

The things I LOVED about the film:

The Comedy – It’s a really funny movie. Probably more comedy than horror.
It’s Not Gross – It’s not a horror movie that is overly gross. There’s some tough scenes to watch, for sure, but it’s not very gory, which is my preference.
Really Captured Black Culture – It definitely was written by POC, because it felt like a ‘Black Horror” film. The characters are speaking authentically from the culture and not like stereotypes that white writers have written in so many past movies.
The Story – A funny thing happens when you have stories written by people from a different life perspective…you get new jokes. You get new ways of telling a story. This makes the telling of a simple “cabin in the woods” type of horror film suddenly seem very fresh and fun.

THE LOSE ITS

The WORST things about the Film

Couple of the actors really didn’t do it for me. I didn’t think they were very believable as people
There are some really predictable moments of the film that take away from the enjoyment.

THE COMMENTS

This was an unexpectedly great time in the theater. I honestly wasn’t sure if this was going to be my kind of film. I was told it was closer to a Scary Movie type of horror/comedy than Bodies Bodies Bodies, but I disagree. I think it’s closer to the vein of Scream. It’s self-aware without being parody. It laughs at itself but also keeps an element of seriousness to keep the audience engaged and invested in the characters. It’s thought provoking in its examination of what it is to be Black and how to navigate relationships as you get older.

THE LESSON

Be wary of judging someone’s level of Blackness.

IS IT REWATCHABLE

Yes

THE FINAL WORD

Finally, a horror/comedy film that allows Black voices to exist authentically. When you have underrepresented voices write and direct a movie with a somewhat familiar plot; suddenly, the jokes are different, the tone is different, and the story is somehow different. This is a very entertaining, scary, and very, very funny film with some solid performances. It’s an intelligent and multi-layered movie; there’s much more to this film than I think it will get credit for. Its only downside is a couple of actors don’t quite fit into the skin of their character, and it suffers from too much predictability. But overall, it is well worth it to discover some new voices in horror/comedy and laugh a lot.

THE VERDICT
My 3L system gives me the choice to Love It, Like It, or Lose It.

The Blackening gets a Like It.

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THE MEME REVIEW